Background
My father, Rodney Clayton Beck, was a Vietnam veteran. While he was happy to elaborate on almost any subject throughout his life, he never spoke to me of his time in Vietnam.
Practically living at our local Veterans of Foreign Wars club (VFW) as a kid, I always knew he was a vet and that he’d served during the Vietnam War but, to be honest, I never knew any of the details until recently when I asked my mother. My mother had a lot of information but only in the form of scattered bits and pieces gathered from conversations with my dad over their almost-forty-year marriage, as he did not share much with her either.
From the information gathered from my mother, my dad served from 1967-1968. He was an MP (Military Police) and his rank was Spec 4; Spec being “Specialist” and 4 being his paygrade. He served during the Tet Offensive and was stationed at Cam Ranh Bay on the Southeastern coast of Vietnam for most of his time there.
Since my father is no longer with us, I looked to the internet to help explain the job functions of an MP. According to goarmy.com, the job functions of an MP are as follows:
The Army's Military Police (MP) provide an important function in full spectrum of Army operations. The Army's Military Police can be utilized during offensive operations, defensive operations, stability operations, and civil support operations. As a Military Police Officer you will be charged with leading Soldiers in the execution of the five Military Police Battlefield Functions. These functions are:
1. Maneuver and Mobility Support Operations (such as route reconnaissance or surveillance)
2. Area Security Operations (to include critical site security as well as response force operations)
3. Law & Order Operations (law enforcement on US installations and host nation police force development).
4. Internment/Resettlement Operations (includes US military prisoners as well as enemy combatants)
5. Police Intelligence Operations (enhances situational awareness for the maneuver commander by providing another source of information that could lead to the production of actionable intelligence or prosecutorial evidence.)
2. Area Security Operations (to include critical site security as well as response force operations)
3. Law & Order Operations (law enforcement on US installations and host nation police force development).
4. Internment/Resettlement Operations (includes US military prisoners as well as enemy combatants)
5. Police Intelligence Operations (enhances situational awareness for the maneuver commander by providing another source of information that could lead to the production of actionable intelligence or prosecutorial evidence.)
A Life-Changing Experience
As countless boys were receiving their draft notices throughout the United States, my dad decided to enlist. He felt that it was personally something he needed to do. Also, those who enlisted were required to serve three years, while draftees were only required to serve two.
Once he was deployed to Vietnam, specifically Cam Rahn Bay, his job functions seemed to fall under some of those defined above. As part of his job, he would route the convoys. When asking my mother for details, she recalled my dad telling her that his area was once fired upon. As it became a fire fight, the Americans called in a helicopter for an emergency rescue. My father witnessed blood-soaked soldiers diving into the helicopter, literally running for their lives.
Once he was deployed to Vietnam, specifically Cam Rahn Bay, his job functions seemed to fall under some of those defined above. As part of his job, he would route the convoys. When asking my mother for details, she recalled my dad telling her that his area was once fired upon. As it became a fire fight, the Americans called in a helicopter for an emergency rescue. My father witnessed blood-soaked soldiers diving into the helicopter, literally running for their lives.
Another job function my father undertook was loading and unloading Agent Orange. For those unfamiliar with Agent Orange, it is an herbicide that was used during the Vietnam War to chemically clear jungles. It earned its name due to the orange stripe on the barrels in which it came. My mother remembers my father briefly speaking of his experience with the chemical, “It was amazing because they would spray it on the jungle and within a day or two, the jungle would be completely gone. It would be splashing on us multiple times a day and it was hot out so we’d wear pants and boots and no shirt. It would splash on us as we loaded and unloaded it. They told us it wasn’t harmful to us so we kept working.”
“Welcome” Home
Today, military men and women are welcomed home with open arms. They are called heroes and many are thanked for their sacrifice by loved ones and strangers alike. Looking back in history, the Vietnam veterans’ reception could not have been any more different.
Communication was not as it is now, where information is at our fingertips. Technology and access to it was nowhere near what it is today so most soldiers were cut off from news of the Western world. In addition, the military opened incoming letters and censored certain topics before delivering them. Meanwhile in the U.S., anti-war protesters were taking to the streets and the overall feeling of the war was not positive, to put it lightly. They called our military men “baby killers,” among other colorful names.
When my dad arrived back in the States, he was not even out of the airport before he was spit on by a stranger. According to my mom, my dad’s reaction was one of utter confusion. “You must have me confused with someone else?!” he said to the disgruntled stranger. My father didn’t know it yet, but that stranger was just a small part of something that will forever be marked in history books.
He quickly learned that he was not welcomed home with open arms and that the very people he fought for considered him, along with all who fought in Vietnam, to be war criminals. He and others like him were forced to carry the stigma that was “Vietnam Vet” for many years. Years later while looking over my father’s resume, a family member suggested he take off the information about being a Vietnam veteran, as that carried with it a negative connotation that could cause employers to overlook him. He refused.
During this time, the media added fuel to this flame. My mother remembers my father getting upset when the news would cover a story about a bank robber, a killer or some other ne’er-do-well and would also add, “and the gunman was a Vietnam vet.” This helped create an even more potent prejudice toward veterans. Those baby-killing veterans are crazy and it’s only a matter of time before they snap, no matter how normal they may seem.
Cause and Effect
My dad’s service was not yet complete by the time he arrived back so he worked as an MP at Fort Sheridon in Illinois. At that time in our country, many draftees were going AWOL. Regardless of whether they were running out of fear of a violent death or fundamental disagreement with the war, one of my father’s job requirements was to track them down, process them, and put them in jail. Once, he was processing a boy who had gone AWOL and while my father had stepped out of the room for a moment to get more paperwork, the boy picked up the typewriter that was on the table and smashed it through the window to make his escape. My dad had to run after him, track him down and drag him back to the irony of the situation: my dad was shamed for being a veteran, yet he was upholding his commitment to the very country that shamed him.
My father, like most Vietnam vets, did not get out of Vietnam unscathed. He definitely had unresolved psychological issues that seemed to manifest at times for the rest of his life. My mom told me of a time when they had visited Toronto and she had wanted to see Chinatown. My father reluctantly agreed and as they walked through the streets, a smell of rotting meat and garbage from a nearby dumpster triggered my father’s wartime memories. He said, “that’s the smell of death. Once you smell it, you can’t ever get that out of your nose. I need to get out of here.” The smell triggered his memories of the many bodies he saw, and smelled, in the heat and humidity of Vietnam.
One of the few times he spoke about Vietnam to my mother, he talked about the different perceptions “Asians” had on the value of life. The Viet Cong would sometimes surround an infant with booby traps with the hope that an American would try to save the infant, thereby detonating the exploding traps, killing the infant and the American.
Since there were no real institutions set up at that time to help treat the psychological trauma brought on by war, he developed a coping mechanism, like so many do. His coping mechanism, while it wasn’t alcohol or drugs, it inevitably was toxic to him. Food became a comfort to my father and, consequently, it got out of hand. Over time, it became increasingly difficult for him to walk or take care of himself in a normal way due to his size.
He also had physical problems directly attributed to his time in Vietnam. Later in life, my dad was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and doctors claimed it was a direct result of Agent Orange exposure. This granted him 100% disability from the government for his last living decade or so. According to the American Diabetes Association, “in 2000, the VA (Department of Veterans Affairs) added type 2 diabetes to the list of ‘presumptive diseases associated with herbicide exposure.’”
Complications with his Diabetes resulted in many problems including norapathy in his legs, which is when the nerves die and he developed an ulcer on his leg the size of a dinner plate.
Also, at some point throughout his service, he contracted Malaria and over the years he repeatedly relapsed into the excessive fever and shivering, among the other symptoms. However, as more time went by, his relapses became less often and less severe.
A Daughter Trying to Get to Know Her Father
It would be pretentious of me to say that my father and I had a good relationship. By the time I came around, my father was slowly losing his mind to Diabetes, poor choices and other ailments. We were not close after I was about 10 or 11 years old and his outbursts put a lot of emotional strain on our family. When I went away to college, I thought it would be a nice break from him. Don’t get me wrong, we had our good moments and I appreciated them but for me, they were too few and far between.
My father died on December 8th, 2007. He had just turned 60 that September.
As I get older and mature, I’m finding that I’m more and more interested in his life and who he was. I only saw one version of him and unfortunately, it wasn’t at his best. I believe this is a way to stay connected with him in a healthier and happier way.
Talking with my mother and researching the historical time of which my father was a part, I am starting to see the reasons why he made the choices he did throughout his life. It helps to mold a complete person in my mind, as opposed to the one piece I knew.
My dad wasn’t a bad person. I believe he had some psychological and emotional issues that he buried, as he was forced to do by the majority of the American public at the time of the Vietnam War.
We as people are complicated creatures. Nothing in us is black or white, good or evil. I feel that I am closer with my father now than ever before, and I am happy for that.
Happy Veterans Day to all those affected by war; directly or indirectly.
